Birth Moms
It’s extremely important to create a bond with any child. After all, bonding with your child can help to create a strong emotional attachment and help them grow into healthy adults. Sometimes, it can be stressful (or even scary) to think about bonding with your adopted child. Will it be enough for them? Will they feel like they fit into the family?
Let me put your mind at ease: it is possible for adoptive families to have incredibly strong and beautiful bonds with their children. To give you a little extra security, I’m going to share a few strategies and reminders for bonding with your adopted kiddo.
Talk to Them
This one might seem like a no-brainer, but talking to your child is a fantastic way to bond with them. This starts in infancy but has relevance in every age group. When you speak to an infant or baby, you’re helping them develop their vocabulary and getting them familiar with your voice (both SUPER important things). An easy way to start conversations with your baby is by giving a play-by-play of everything that you’re doing. Going on a walk? Talk about all the things you’re seeing. Making dinner? Let them know what you’re doing. The possibilities are truly endless.
If you have an older child that you’re trying to bond with, talking is a great point as well. Talking can still help older children expand and create their vocabulary. It can also just generally help you create a bond as you learn more about each other.
Talking is especially great for every age group, though, because it will help make your child feel like they’re loved, valued, included, and wanted.
Be There For Them…
It’s important to know that you have someone in your corner, especially for adopted kids. A good way to prove to your child that you’re there for them is by encouraging them to talk to you and letting them know that you’re there for them. Then, when they do talk to you, actively listen to them. Ask questions to learn more about how they’re feeling or to clarify things that they say. Let them drive the conversation and don’t judge them when they open up to you.
Responding to them in a positive way can show your child that they’re actually supported and that they can trust you. This’ll encourage them to come to you again in the future. Responding negatively or neglecting to build this part of the relationship can actually make your child less likely to talk to you if they need help with something and create a barrier in your relationship.
Another way to let your child know that it’s okay to ask for help or support is to also ask for help yourself. It’s always important to lead by example, but especially so in this way when some people can be so uncertain or reluctant when it comes to asking for help.
But Give Them Breathing Room
Everyone needs a little alone time sometimes, and if they’re not allowed to get their space they could feel stressed. Think about it, haven’t you ever needed a minute to just be by yourself? That’s why, as your child grows, it’s especially important to allow them to have their own space that they can take ownership and pride in. This can allow them to recharge when they need to, which can also help their mental health. Giving your child space (and respecting their space) can help them feel safe, respected, and supported. In turn they’ll also likely feel more safe, respected, and supported by you, too!
Setting up your child’s space can also be a fun bonding experience. You and your child can go out, maybe even go shopping for things for the space, and decorate the space together. This will give you time to talk and bond that way, but it can also help you get to know your child and their tastes.
As you can see, there are plenty of ways to build an incredible bond with your adopted child no matter the age. If you need further support with this or anything else related to adoption, feel free to reach out to Connected by Love Adoptions. We want you to feel supported no matter where you’re at in your adoption journey. We’re here for you 24/7 to answer any questions you may have. Don’t hesitate to reach out! Call us today at (321)355-2010 for more information.
