Birth Moms
Once you’ve decided to go the adoption route as a birth mother, it’s essential to make sure you’re making an adoption plan that’s customized to your needs. One of the things you should consider when making an adoption plan is how open you want your adoption. There may be some confusion about what that means, so I’m here to break it down for you.
“Open” adoptions can be considered with various degrees of openness, whereas “Closed” adoptions are just closed.
In open adoptions, the birth parents and adoptive parents know things about each other. They could even maintain a level of communication around the child. The degree of openness really is up to you, for the most part, and what you feel most comfortable with.
Here are some things to consider in your decision about the degree of openness.
- Meeting the adoptive parents
- Having conference calls
- Having the adoptive parents go to doctor appointments with you
- Having the adoptive parents be at the hospital with you
- Continued communication that can include: emails, letters, text messages, photos and videos of the child, updates on the child, etc
- Visitation with the child (and how frequently you want to visit if you decide to do so)
Open adoptions allow you to work together with the adoptive parents to find ways to maintain involvement in a way that most benefits the child while maintaining your own level of comfort. Some adoptive parents and birth mothers will have gatherings on holidays or birthdays. Having an open (or even partially open) adoption can allow the adoptive parents to reach out to you if they have any questions or concerns about the child and need more information on things like family history.
In closed adoptions, you can decide not to have any contact with the adoptive family or child. The adoptive parents will be given the necessary information about you and the birth father to help them raise the child well. This includes medical information and anything else you feel okay with sharing.
You won’t get pictures, receive updates, or have contact with the adoptive family and child unless you decide to open that up later. You can also elect to have your adoption agency pass along any information to the adoptive parents.
Sometimes people pick closed adoptions if they’re planning on keeping their decision private from others or if there’s potential for violence or abuse. Regardless of the full reasoning, a decision to go through a closed adoption process is a decision that’s always made because the birth mother thinks it’s right for them at the time.
Connected by Love Adoptions wants you to feel supported and safe no matter what route you choose for your adoption journey. We can work with you to build a plan for your adoption process that makes you feel confident. We will provide you with resources and tools to support you along this journey. Don’t hesitate to reach out to us for questions. We’re here for you 24/7 to answer any questions you may have. Call us today at (321)355-2010 for more information.
