Birth Moms
It’s not easy being a kid, especially when you’ve been adopted. Many issues can arise from being adopted, especially if your child isn’t well supported. It’s vital to ensure you’re supporting your child throughout this process and their entire lives to ensure they don’t develop lifelong struggles and challenges. You can help your child grow into the best versions of themselves. Here’s how:
Be Respectful
Even if you disagree with some of the preferences or actions of your child’s birth parents, it’s still important to maintain some respect for them. Research has shown that maintaining some level of connection to birth parents is really beneficial for children. This can be something as simple as being open with them about what their birth parent(s) were like, to actually organizing times for your child and their birth parents to hang out.
If you adopt a child when they’re very young, there’s the matter of telling them they’re adopted. Many people have difficulty determining when (or if) it’s a good idea to tell their child they’re adopted. Research shows that the sooner you tell your child that they’re adopted, the fewer negative consequences will come up from the knowledge that they’re adopted.
Respecting everyone involved in the situation will go a long way in the support of your adopted child and make all of these hard conversations easier. Your example will earn the respect of your child and help them feel more confident and comfortable with their position in your family.
Don’t Compare
It can be hard for adopted kids to feel like they belong. Comparing them to others can only make an already tense situation worse. Even a child born into your family would feel out of place or less than if they were compared to other family members. Even if your child is aware that they’re adopted and feel cemented into your family, a simple comparison could introduce uncertainty into their lives.
Often, kids just want to make their parents happy. If they fail to do so, they can have increased anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Comparing your child to others could also put your child at risk of developing social phobias, which arise when a child fears being embarrassed or criticized by others.
You can help keep negative mindsets and self-perceptions at bay by being more understanding and just worrying about your child’s individual performance and progress.
It’s also worth mentioning that a balance can be found between focusing on and singling out your child’s uniqueness. If you focus on and celebrate ways your child is unique, you can help them be more self-assured. If you single out their unique qualities, you can make them self-conscious.
Prioritize Mental Health and Wellness
Adoption isn’t always the easiest thing to deal with. Children can face mental and emotional struggles that can come from being adopted. One is anxiety, especially if your child has to make major life changes. Anxiety is clinically described as a state of worry, fear, and tension. Anxiety can be temporary, which is entirely normal, especially during stressful times in our lives.
Anxiety can also become a more constant disorder. That’s why it’s so important to take the time to make sure that you’re creating a healthy and balanced environment. It will help you help your child manage anxiety so it doesn’t become a constant.
Adopted children may also experience depression. Again, creating a safe space for your child to take care of their mental and physical health is crucial. It’s also important to ensure your child feels comfortable talking to you about things they’re experiencing.
All in all, surround your child with a safe, comfortable, supportive, and positive environment where they can bond with you, focus on their strengths, and talk about their feelings. This is so important to providing your adopted child the support they need and allowing them to grow and develop in their environment.
Stay Flexible
You will find differences between you and your adopted child. These can be as small as what they like to eat or as big as lifestyle differences. Ensure you provide your child with options and the space to make choices about their own lives. The more opportunities you expose them to, the more they’ll be able to explore their own individual interests. It will also help you build trust with your child, which is vital.
It will also mean a lot to your child if you try to get involved in some of the things they like. Maybe you can share a meal they love or play a little bit of their favorite sport with them! This will help develop a connection between you and your child and help your child be confident in themselves and their place in your family.
As you can see, there are many ways to support your adopted child and make them feel more confident in themselves and their place in your family. It is essential to ensure your child feels like they have a connection with you and have the space to take care of their mental health.
No matter what route you choose for your adoption journey, Connected by Love Adoptions wants you to feel supported and safe. We’re here for you 24/7 to answer any questions you may have. Don’t hesitate to reach out to us for questions. Call us today at (321)355-2010 for more information.
